urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:geckies_heart Sherry Dean Sherry Dean 2005-05-23T03:55:24Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:geckies_heart:747 2005-05-23T03:55:24Z 2005-05-23T03:55:24Z Well, been feeling all fucked up lately..... Its been awhile but im still dealing with the loss of a close friend Named Rion, he killed himself, He lived with me and Damien in Texas for awhile, with his girl *whose name i have no desire to mention* She was pregnant with His daughter Serenity. She was a whore and cheated on him, met someone and decided to leave my friend, and my friend couldnt handle it. She came home one nite to find Rion hanging from the tree in the yard.... He was only 20 years old.... Had a beautiful baby girl.... but he lost it all becuz of a girl.... Who shortly after Rion is dead tells me she is pregnant by someone Else, and now Serenity grows up without a dad but yet will have a new sibling, and *she* shows no remorse for Rion..... and mabe remorse doesnt need to be shown but she could show some sense of sadness over his death.... I know this is just a bunch of words for most of you but it is something I had to get off my chest..... And I have decided that alot has to happen in my life, one of my best friends doesnt speak to me anymore.... which i am sumwat amused by.... His name is Jerry, i got pretty hurt over the fact we dont speak anymore, only to come to find out that it is my fault, cuz i moved to Texas ....and left him.... But i guess it doesnt matter that i needed to go .... to get my shit together.... it doesnt matter how much i took care of him when he needed me to b4 i left, whenever he needed anything he knew he could come to me, but when i left he needed me still but i wasnt there for hm cuz i tried to get my shit together.....and i met someone, which right off the bat made him not want anything to do with me, Apparently we could only be friends if i was single. Oh but he has a gf now .... and I tried to be her friend..... But that doesnt matter either.... I only did that for him, cuz i knew he wanted us all to be friends..... And ya know, when damien and i broke up.... He was not there for me, B and Dewy were there for me.... Nate was there for me ..... Nate called me everyday.... would sit on the phone with me and let me get shit off muh chest, and b would sit and let me cry and let me deal... But Jerry ...... naw to him ... it was not his problem cuz he didnt like him anywayz..... My family tried a lil bit, but they were like suck it up...and i agree i should but it wasnt that i was upset cuz he was gone, The stupid fucker stole from me, my money, and ya know wat trips me out ..... He begged me not to leave him ..... and I wanted to end it months b4 he walked off with my shit.... I was sick of his lazy pothead ass.... I was sick of carrying him and paying all the bills and letting him sit home get stoned and not do a damn thing. We moved back to NY to get shit together.... But he did nothing but tear it apart.... So i dont miss Damien.... Im glad he is gone, and I am 100 percent thrilled that Karma came back to get him. I may sound vindictive.... but i dont give a fuck wat anyone thinks about me at this point. I have the people who i concider family.... I have Nate....I have b and dewy .... and Yes i have others..... I dont forget you.... But those people have made a signifigant impact on my life. So .... now that i have gotten a whole shitload of stuff off my chest.... if i need to get more you will prolly find another paragraph which will warn you not to read lol but til then .... Thanks for not feeling like imma drama queen but dude this was building up and i felt as if i was going to Explode if it didnt get outta muh head. <br />Love Ya'll <br />Sher urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:geckies_heart:329 2003-10-06T06:46:13Z 2003-10-06T06:46:13Z Been a long day today, one of my closest friends is going through alot, his ex is outta jail, the chick killed their daughter a year and a half ago.... She found him and now is sorta stalking him...... i cant believe she has the nerve to fuck with him.....She was a crack head and thought it would be amusing to stick the needle in the babies arm.....heh not so funny when the baby dies....Let her show her face around me.....Well.....I need to get outta this shitty city, but my best friend jerry will never forgive me for moving, but it is something I must do..for my own sanity.....Sighs...so goes life eh?